Couples or family therapy could be beneficial if it seems impossible to effectively communicate on your own. Ultimately, many individuals are not taught effective methods for handling conflict. As a result, a person may experience “flooding” when a dispute arises, leading them to become emotionally overwhelmed and struggle to engage. This response can be especially apparent in cases of past abuse or other types of trauma. A person who is conflict-avoidant might shut down and not respond when a potentially conflicting topic is brought up by someone else, or they might abruptly change the subject. In some cases, they may strive to maintain a “happy face” at all times, regardless of how they truly feel.
Core skill 2: Emotional awareness
You prefer to be seen as the “nice person” at work, for example, or may shy away from open, healthy conflict so as not to rock the boat. Add soothing sounds and lights to how to deal with someone who avoids conflict your environment when possible. If you spend a good amount of time in a setting where conflicts frequently arise (e.g., your office or place of employment), take the time to make the space as calming as possible. This is good advice in general and not specific to conflict de-escalation. Don’t outcompete or try to match the intensity of the other person. Competitive people frequently view things in terms of wins and losses.
How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People)
Conflict avoidance can really throw a wrench in the gears of any relationship. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, or colleague, dodging difficult conversations often leads to misunderstandings and resentment. Have you ever felt a nagging tension in a relationship, only to realize that important issues were left unaddressed? It’s like ignoring a leaky roof until it starts pouring inside. This behavior is particularly challenging in conflict avoidance in marriage scenarios, where long-term avoidance can cause deep-seated issues.
- It’s like building up an immunity – start with small disagreements and work your way up to bigger ones.
- Not good in relationships and not good in conflict de-escalation.
- Let the other person know how much you appreciate and value their relationship.
They think their opinion may cause an argument
- This is why it is so important to be able to communicate with each other, even if you have to learn how to do so.
- This indirect expression of negative feelings allows them to avoid direct confrontation while still communicating their displeasure.
- A conflict-avoidant partner isn’t just someone who prefers peace and quiet.
- Speaking to a qualified therapist can help you learn how to better manage your negative emotions.
- Non-confrontational personality traits can be challenging, but they’re not set in stone.
Remember, you ultimately have no control over other people or how they feel about you. Someone who loves you will still drug addiction treatment love you, even if you voice your needs or express an opinion that is different from theirs. Conflict avoiders may silence their opinions to please other people. They think that if they keep their opinions and needs to themselves, others will like them. For instance, instead of telling yourself that you’re going to argue about finances, tell yourself that you’re going to complete the task of creating a budget with your partner. One way to prevent conflicts from festering and becoming unmanageable is to have a weekly “state of the union” meeting with your significant other.
What kind of relationship do you have with your emotions?
Some people are comfortable with direct, blunt communication, while others prefer a more indirect approach. Recognizing your own style and your partner’s can help you navigate conflict more effectively. The avoidance conflict style is perpetuated when you feel that you can read your partner’s mind. You decide in advance that they will react poorly or disagree with you, so you avoid the conflict altogether. If this sounds like you, you can develop greater confidence about conflict resolution by setting boundaries.